Inevitable fear- the discovery of a new path that was previously invisible. That path stares straight as I approach it; it won't budge, it won't move to let me travel the familiar road. My feet keep swiftly moving themselves one before the other even though my subconscious yells "STOP!" The closer I get the wider the road grows. It multiplies in size, it overwhelms and envelopes; like a wave it covers me and pulls me farther away from shore. I flail my arms, screaming for rescue but its too late and I have been swallowed by the deep. I am forever changed. I learn to stand tall and confident a midst the challenge; until a new and wider path faces me and I am again diminished and brought back to the state of inevitable fear.
Last Sunday's youth sermon was truly convicting. And not just a "yeah, that was important" type of convicting, but really a "wow, I need to change my whole perspective and really hit the root issue here, truly repent and ask God to change my heart in this regard" type of convicting. The whole time I felt as though the sermon had been specially crafted for me- to really get me to analyze my own heart and realize how little I love the people that are truly my brothers and sisters. By nature I love to critique everything- I always thought it would be awesome to have a career where I get to criticize companies or stores and tell them what they are doing wrong. Unfortunately my sinful nature brings this into the way I deal with people. As I was listening to the sermon I realized that judging people was just my default setting. In my own head, to myself, I always concealed this as honest assessment or analyzing- instead of downright, sinful judging. When I would be c